You may wonder what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship, when you are least expecting it. You suddenly find yourself asking, “What a narcissist really does at the end of a relationship?” Sometimes you are even hoping that he will just run off to someone else so you can forget about you. You are sick and tired of this abuse and drama and you’re ready to leave.
Of course, after a breakup, you still care about the person who dumped you, and you would like to get back together with them, just like you did on your first date. But what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship, when you least expect it, is totally contrary to what he usually does. Instead of showing up for the rebound date, he runs.
When a person who is the narcissist partner(s) runs, he or she leaves his or her lover alone. For one reason or another, this person either gets busy and/or unimportant. In fact, the person who runs to the other person, or the person who flees, is not even sure if or when they will show up again. The person who runs away from you at the end of a relationship, is the same person who was once obsessed with you to the point where the “narcissist” bond started.
You are so happy in your relationship, that you don’t recognize that the narcissist is gaslighting you. I know because I was in your shoes. After our first break up, I felt so good about myself. It was as if my new supply of self-esteem was flowing freely. Then, everything changed.
The narcissist starts acting out against you in many times than he did before you entered into a relationship with him. This is known as gaslighting. He (or she), starts to use invalidation, blame, criticism, intimidation and other techniques to try to eliminate the possibility that you will leave him and seek out others to spend time with. And guess what?
You begin to feel awful! Lousy is a word that describes what you are going through in most cases when two people who are in love and in a relationship breakup. If you are dealing with someone who is this controlling, there is a great likelihood that you are going to end relationships all together, because you will be unable to see anything good in him or her. You feel that no matter what you do or say, they just won’t care. He or she will never understand why you are leaving, and it can really be torture.
What a narcissist often or not does at the end of a relationship is to send love bombs (also known as nuke bombs). A love bomb is an abusive device that is used to blow up love relationships. What happens is the narcissist uses these love bombs to hurt you with. He or she makes sure that the bomb is ready to explode when the time comes. Then what happens is he or she uses the bomb to make you feel uncomfortable, to make you feel like you are worthless. This hurts you to the core, and then he or she will either run away with you or get back with you under the guise of making you feel better.
How many times have you heard about the concept of “hoovering”? That is when narcissists call their mutual friends, family members, and acquaintances to hurt them in various ways. For example, one narcissist might call his or her mutual friend a “hoe,” and say things to embarrass her. Another narcissist might tell his or her mutual friend that she “should die” if she doesn’t change her attitude. Of course, both of these are examples of how a narcissist makes a habit of hoovering others underneath the guise of being a “good friend.”
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